In.The.Black

LoL. I thought the title would play out as ironic… I remember being a little child and having to write a 1 or 2 page paper (wide-ruled, double-spaced) about “What Christmas Means to Me.” How proudly I told my teachers about the crafts we made out of construction paper- snowmen, little nativity scenes, a fat and jolly Santa. I was almost frantic at the thought of making a gingerbread man and decorating his sweet crunchy body with icings. Most of all, I enjoyed the craft lesson right before Christmas where we got to make something really cool for mom and dad.

 This little girl grew up; I was a teenager, and Christmas activities became frantic chores rather than an enjoyable time of the year. I’m not sure if it was because I was an over-worked pastor’s kid, or just because of my private nature- I did not like all of the extra “stuff” that surrounded the observance of Christmas.

Through some creative prevarication, I stayed home BY MYSELF this Christmas. When I told other people of my plans, they looked at me with pity, some with curiosity, and others with outright disdain. “How selfish of you!” some chastised. How utterly ridiculous. In my mind, the holidays is the time to do what makes you happy. If one year, the thing that makes you happiest in the world is to sit alone and watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer over and over and drink a full bottle of Arbor Mist, then that’s what you should do (not giving you any clues as to how I spent my holiday. LoL). Now, I’m no fool- I understand that you should enjoy and cherish your parents while you still have them, and I plan taking the drive and spending the long New Year’s vacation with my mom. I also understand that some of you have children. Then, there are those of you who give of yourselves until the very last is gone… but that’s not me- not anymore. 2009 is the Year of Kamia. I will take care of me. I have some emotional, mental, spiritual, and (definite) physical healing to do. 2008 was the Year of Obligation. I was a good Daughter, a good Girlfriend, a good Employee. The only person I wasn’t good to was -  well  -  ME. I bore too much burden, made too many silly decisions, endured too much emotional abuse, and gained too much weight because of it all. While the trials and tribulations come to make us stronger, I didn’t sign up to be a body-builder! I have learned much in the year 2008, but those lessons are past and I have mastered much of what the lessons were supposed to teach. In 2008, there was much pain… pain that brought about beauty in me that I’ve never known before. I defined who I am as a person, who I would never allow myself to be, and who I wanted around me to help me achieve those goals.

Please, to every man, woman, boy, and girl reading this passage… 2009 may prove to be a very difficult year, and for more reasons that the economy. The obvious is easy to deal with- the economy sucks so make a budget and be really nice to your family if you have to move back in. LoL. It’s the other things that are difficult to deal with- learning how to live for yourself, learning how to set boundaries and standards, learning to love yourself, learning how to surround yourself with people who have your best interest at heart. Please, everyone, take care of yourselves in 2009. I really do hope we can enjoy it together as mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and (somewhat) physicaly healthy people.

Now that the campaign and election is over, will newly-elected President Obama be as “Black” as his campaign portrayed him to be? I hear so many people (Jon Stewart of the Daily Show and Steve Colbert of the Colbert Report) saying that racism is officially over because there is an African American in the White House. Two questions: is an African American a Black person (at heart), and do Black people REALLY consider PresE Obama one of “them?” 

I know many people expected all of the African American bloggers to write extensive blogs about the recent Presidential election. Honestly, I was very busy during the campaign period. For all of the rhetoric and mud-slinging, I would rather just sit on the sidelines for most of it. I did my part as a responsible citizen (I voted), but I that’s as far as my involvement went. What did interest me, however, was the lack of discussion within the Black community about Barack Obama’s actual heritage. As I’ve said before on my blog, I am truly “African” American. Like President-elect Obama, my father was African and my mother American, making him and me African American (vs. being Black). There are few times I make the distinction because I’m not sure how many people actually care. LoL. But… I did want to note that people were so quick to deem him “Black,” when he probably has very different cultural associations and a different upbringing. Add to that his Caucasian heritage on his mother’s side, and I’m left wondering how much he actually identifies with the Black people as a whole. I know that sometimes I feel distanced from other Blacks because of my direct roots in Africa. I just wonder how PresE Obama feels. Little is known about his personal tastes and off-camera personality. When he drops the façade for the cameras, does PresE Obama eat traditionally ethnic food, or does he opt for other (probably healthier) dishes? I mean, will the American public ever catch a glimpse of the first African American President eating chitterlings (if you don’t know what that is, you should read the rest of my blog and get a glimpse of Southern Black culture). Maybe PresE Obama’s family likes to eat cornbread and collard greens??? I wonder if Michelle Obama knows how to cook a pot of collard greens or black-eyed peas. LoL. Lawyers can cook too, ain’t no shame!

And please, everyone, don’t misunderstand my line of questioning. I’m thrilled to death that a person of color has been elected to the most important office in the US as Commander in Chief. I just want people to realize that sometimes African American does not necessarily equate with Black. With some trepidation, I mentioned this topic to my friends. I was playfully accused of everything from self-hate to promoting interracial segregation and everything else. It is not my intent to siphon out small groups of Black people and begin dividing the demographic. I liken the situation to Polish Americans or Europeans that come to the US. Perhaps just by looks, these people are “White,” but most of them hardly consider themselves so. They are usually identified by their country of origin and then by their country of citizenship (Polish American or British American). They have a different cultural heritage, a different outlook on life, and a different way of going about things. So, the question I pose to anyone who may stumble across this: Will Obama be “Black” in the White House, or are there millions of disillusioned Black folks across our country?

According to HOLBROOK MOHR of the Associated Press (Full Story), my absolute favorite actor has been injured in a car accident. Here is an excerpt from the article: “Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman is in a hospital in Memphis, Tenn., on Monday after being seriously injured in a car accident near his home in Mississippi.Regional Medical Center spokeswoman Kathy Stringer said Freeman, 71, is in serious condition. The hospital is about 90 miles north of the accident scene in rural Tallahatchie County in the Mississippi Delta.Mississippi Highway Patrol spokesman Sgt. Ben Williams said Freeman was driving a 1997 Nissan Maxima belonging to Demaris Meyer of Memphis when the car left a rural highway and flipped several times shortly before midnight Sunday.“There’s no indication that either alcohol or drugs were involved,” Williams said. He said both Freeman and Meyer were wearing seat belts. The woman’s condition was not immediately available.

Alright, it’s been a little while since I wrote a new article and something I saw today really had me perplexed; I just had to write about the situation. People talk about minorities and the “Digital Divide,” (where people don’t have adequate access to technology to compete academically or professionally), well I think that it may be just the opposite! Some uses of technology causes people to be considered unprofessional. Maybe this is what “divides” some people from jobs. I called a friend of mine the other day to see how his job search was going and I was greeted by a Lil Wayne callback tone. He just got a Blackberry or Palm 800 or Samsung Instinct (I cant’t remember) before he lost his job and went wild with all the ringtones. When he finally answered, we talked about life in Alabama and how the cost of living was going up, etc, etc. While we’re shooting the breeze a thought hit me. I asked him if he had set his callback tone for just his friends or if he had it set on default. When he told me he had that set as his default, I nearly fell off my couch! People: if you’re in the process of job hunting (which many of us are) don’t have callback tones on your phone. There is no guarantee that your potential employers have the same taste in music or the same sense of humor that you have. I can imagine the Human Resources director calling my friend and “forgetting” to leave a message after hearing about Lil Wayne’s exploits and street cred. Come on, let’s be foreal. This is an example of how seemingly harmless tastes can get in the way of being professional. Use “plain” ringtones at work, or just put your phone on vibrate. Technology is a necessity these days; it’s helpful and lets you be creative in many different ways. However, technology can also work against you when it comes to things like this. For instance, if you work in a J.O.B. (JustOverBroke) that gives you access to a computer, don’t access pornography or sexual content on it. Chances are, the virus protection and spyware protection software wouldn’t let you anyway, but folks- just   don’t   do   it.

Sometimes it’s not the color of your skin or your age that keeps you from being gainfully employed; sometimes it’s just plain arrogance. If you walk around all day being mad at everyone else and saying that “people just don’t like me and I’m not going to change who I am. They’ll just have to deal with it,” then you probably won’t go too far with that attitude. At some point in our careers, people realize that you have to play to corporate games. I know plenty of people from the office that don’t dress, look, or act the same after work hours…White people, at that. Why do Black people get so offended when someone asks you to be traditional and to abide by company policies? I can see if they told you that wearing your hair in a natural state (twists, locks, etc) was unprofessional- that’s discrimination. However, there’s a fine line between being tolerant and allowing employees to be unprofessional. Saggy pants are not a style for the workplace. If you want to wear that to your place of employment, then you can go stand on the corner and put ya feet to the street. If you want any type of decent paying job, chances are you’ll be asked to change your attire to match your position. At this point, you may be thinking well I’ll work for myself. Nope, sorry. Do you think you’ll get a lot of clients looking unprofessional? People judge others by a number of things when they are considering purchasing your goods or services- attire is one of them! If you look unprofessional, chances are your business venture won’t succeed. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule and you’re welcome to point them out. For now, people. Let’s think beyond the “race card” and work on practicing professionalism. You’ll find that the better you present yourself, the better people will treat you. Shoot, turn off those call tones and you may even get a job interview.

A recent Wall Street Journal article, The End of the White Flight (Conor Dougherty), cites that Black people have been moving out of cities and urban areas in droves. According to the article, the combination of Black people moving out of the city (into the suburbs) and White people staying in the cities has created a shift in the racial balance that previously existed. I can’t help but wonder what this indicates about the current Black community, and what consequences this has for the the future of the Black community.

First, let’s look at some trends that could be causing this migration of Black people from traditionally Black metropolitan areas:

• Many Black people have achieved their goals of moving out of the cities in favor of the white picket fences of the suburbs.

• The sense of a Black community has diminished to the point where it doesn’t matter where you live; there’s no connection to each other, anyway.

• Many affluent Black people no longer stick around in the community and set up community organizations; they pack up the kids and move to a gated suburb to live in self-contained exsclusivity.

• Younger Black people facing a struggling economy are moving back home with mom and dad, where their more established parents have homes in the suburbs.

Whatever the reasons may be, what does consequences will this recent trend have on the Black community? I know, for one, that I did not grow up in a predominantly Black area. I went to a private Baptist school in elementary school, and moved to a rural area after that. I had no concept of Black block parties, or RIP T-shirts, music videos, or Spring Bling. I did have a concept of “Blackness” as defined by my parents: community networking and affiliations, jazz clubs, and Black political activism. I think that more and more Black people are running from urbanism in an attempt to separate the urban lifestyle and definitions from Black culture itself. Urban culture has developed a great deal from the roots of Black culture once upon a time, but the concensus is changing. Some of us want to be set apart from what is viewed on BET. Some of us have an appreciation of culture without succumbing to the stereotype of the urban Black person. Having said that, some very basic Black institutions have been undergoing some changes as well. You know who I’m talking about- The Church. TD Jakes and Creflo Dollar are trying to relate across the board, as we become a culture that is no longer identified by our churches either. Not to say we don’t love our churches anymore, we do! It’s just that our church affiliations used to be the center and focal point in our community, and our lives just don’t revolve around it anymore.

All that said, where is our focal point? Where is the center and cornerstone of the Black community these days? How will we relate to one another? It can’t be that the media is our connectivity! I do not want the music videos and stereotypical TV icons to become what my children identify as Black culture. We overdosed on church, we no longer have tight-knit communities in established and traditionally Black areas. Where are we headed, folks? Hit me up if you know the next great rallying point for the African-American community.

A recent Wall Street Journal article, The End of the White Flight (Conor Dougherty), cites that Black people have been moving out of cities and urban areas in droves. According to the article, the combination of Black people moving out of the city (into the suburbs) and White people staying in the cities has created a shift in the racial balance that previously existed.

The consequences of this shift are far-reaching and have brought race relations again to the forefront. As more White families move into previously minority areas, their children are being confronted with some of the same racial issues that plagued the US in the 1960’s. According to the article, some White families even had the audacity to try to incorporate another school within the existing school. Separate schools sound familiar? Separate but unequal? Brown vs. (Topeka) Board of Education? Any of this ringing a bell? Sorry, but I’ve gotta use vernacular for this one. How you gonna try and set up a school inside of another one, so your “special perfect” lil white chil’ren ain’t gotta go to school wit mine? I find those parents that suggested this school reform to be the lowest of the low. I find them to be reprehensible, barbaric, and ignorant at best. I find them to be bigots and people who do not appreciate America’s diverse heritage. Now, this is not a hate speech. I have nothing against White people who are tolerant and respectful of other races. I do have something against anyone-Black or White- who is intolerant of people who are different from them. The bigot parents obviously got denied their request to segregate the schools.

Now, having said that, there are some inner-city/urban schools, and school in certains with certain students that I wouldn’t want my children mingling with. In Central Florida where I live, there are several Orlando/Orange County schools that have consistently scored and “F” for standardized testing, have had more crime and vandalism that a small town within the last year, and have more metal detectors and crime prevention measures than Fort Knox. Black folks, we got to do better. I can’t blame some of these parents that don’t want their kids to end up shot or knifed to death in the cafeteria. If you are reading this, chances are you’re not in one of those dysfunctional households that rear damaged and criminal children. However, everybody knows somebody who has the worst, nastiest, most foul, rude, disrespectful, ignorant child in the neighborhood. Just imagine if you took that despondent child, multiplied him or her 3000 times, and sent all of them to school. Lawd, Have Mercy! While I understand that some schools are like this, those White folks have do what everybody else had to do: scrimp, save, pinch, and scrounge until you can afford to move you and your children to a different area. Why you think we “migrating” out of the cities? We want a better life for our kids! Don’t come up to me talking about re-segregating the schools. You will receive nothing but scorn from me.

Let me know your feelings about these parents’ request to segregate the schools, and how you feel about those underperforming schools in your area. Part II of this discussion to follow…

Black women are versatile. We have a lot of hairstyle options available to us, but do Black women really have a choice? I was recently reading a mini-story HERE (full story HERE) about hairstyle indicating a power status. Hillary Clinton has changed her hairstyle since she first began her campaign, and now supporters of ”hair theory” think it means that she is relinquishing her power- bowing out if you will- because she has changed her hair part from the left to the right.  Supposedly, if you part your hair to the left you hare rational and assertive, a real go-getter. Conversely, if you part your hair to the right you play a more supportive role, generally demure and unassuming. Now, what does this mean for us Black folks? I mean, of course we can part our hair for most hair styles and Black men can have a part cut into their hair but does it have the same effect? If there is such a thing as “hair theory,” what do Black people’s hairdo’s mean to other races? I’ve met several people that describe ethnic hairdo’s (like braids, twists, dreads, or small afros) to be unprofessional and “disturbing,” especially if the person is dealing with traditional clients. Some people still can’t get with the times! I have met a number of brilliant Black men and women who wear the more ethnic hairstyles. However, some people in corporate America and Public Relations people cite conformity as professionalism. I thought we were a nation that embraces diversity and culture, a nation that celebrates our country’s mixed heritage. I haven’t been in the job market lately, and I work for a government agency where diversity is not only tolerated- it’s the policy. Ethnic hair is part of the package as far as the government’s concerned, and anyone who thinks to discriminate based on hairstyle will be in HR quicker than you can say lawsuit! I’m just saddened that some Brothers and Sisters must perm, straighten, flatten, fry, dry, and dye their hair just to be competitive in their professional fields. Now, I’m not going to sit up here and lie: I would maintain a traditional (permed, curled, wavy, flat) hairdo if my job and livelihood depended on it, but I’m thinking this is still a source of self depreciation that leads to lower self-esteem in our young Black boys and girls. Take Beyonce for example, she is often seen with long wavy locks- or an elegant bun on the red carpet, but often wears ethnic or quirky hairstyles for photo shoots. She is a major role model and symbol for a lot of little girls. I don’t have any children, but if I did, I wouldn’t want them feeling that wavy/straight hair is the only way to be beautiful and accepted. The celebrity that comes to mind when I think about natural locks is Whoopi Goldberg. Now, I’m not trying to hate but glamorous doesn’t come to mind when one thinks about Whoopi- not exactly. But even in the pic to the left, she can jazz up those dreads and hit the carpet with the best of ‘em. Gon’ Whoopi! Black is beautiful.

Now, I can say this: I don’t consider ghetto and ethnic to be the same thing. It may be a distinction I’ve made by myself, but to me there is a difference between a tasteful do’ of short twists, and a loud obnoxious neon purple ponytail. The latter is indicative of a ghetto person and can possibly be a distraction in the workplace (and other places for that matter). So don’t think I’m up here defending those ghetto Black folks that want to come to work any ol’ kinda way, like they just came from the club. I’m talking about tasteful and elegant ethnic styles as opposed to traditionally Caucasian-influenced styles. (By the way, Black people aren’t the only ones that can be ghetto (Ahem, Britney)! I found an enlightening article about Black hair HERE.

 Comment and let me know what kind of hairdo you have, why you have it, and how you think it effects you in the workplace! If you’re of another race, let me know (honestly but politely and respectfully) how you feel about ethnic hairdo’s in the workplace.

 I have had it up to about HERE with all this extra drama thatI hear about stemming from content posted on Myspace pages. In my humble opinion, that myspace is real only to a certain extent, and you have use common sense when deciding to believe the information or not. I mean, a 19-year-old guy with all these thick, half-naked models as his “friends?” Come on, that is the same guy that barely got a date to Homecoming. As much as Myspace allows people to communicate their reality, the website also allows people to create a fantasy, too. If you think Alicia Keys has nothing better to do that ask about your poodle, you are probably taking Myspace wayyyyyy to seriously! Having said that, I don’t think school-age children should go around posting nasty comments about each other on the site either. However, that is up to the PARENTS to raise decent children that don’t do that foolishness. That’s like if someone put up anonymous posters about another kid in the neighborhood. You can’t catch the other kid that did it, and the target of the propaganda gets seriously hurt. It’s up to parents to know what your children are doing. If they are getting online and terrorizing other people, I’m sure they also have other behavior indicative of a problem child. Please supervise your children and make sure they “play well with others.” If I see one more news story about physical violence or emotional trauma caused by Myspace, I’m going to throw up. I’ll ask you guys: Myspace, real or fantasy? Do kids really get hurt by Myspace propaganda? Are young Black kids engaging in this sort of thing? Let me know!

I’m not Timbaland or One Republic, but I will use the song as my mantra. My blog is geared to the conscious Black person who wants to make the right moves at the right times and avoid the mistakes that many of us don’t want to talk about. This blog is about my perspective on what I’ve experienced throughout my young-adulthood. I’m writing about experiences from a Black person’s point of view to a target audience that may or may not be of the same demographic. This is not to exclude anyone, not to be racist, not to be any of those other ignorant things… I just felt that someone documenting her experiences and bring everyone else’s experiences to the table could benefit the BET.com generation. My goal is to bring minorities together with information and together with each other to share information. I don’t know all the answers- I’m a 20-something- but I do know that someone started me off by giving me the answers they had and I am passionate about passing the favor forward.

That said, the blog will cover any range of random topics that Black people may find interesting… informative, everyday topics. Ever sit down and ask yourself any of these questions?:

• I’m smart and get good grades, but I don’t even know how to begin practically thinking about college. These pamphlets and brochures they hand out at school are great, but they don’t tell me what to do on a practical level!
• My kid is smart and gets good grades. I want to make sure they get the chance to go to college. Where do I even start?
• I’m in school flirting with some hotties, going out with buddies, and living it up. These college loans make everything so easy! I wonder how I get a job after I graduate…
• Why don’t they hire another guidance counselor at that school? I’ve had to make an appointment a week in advance, and then I get rushed out of there because they’ve got 30 more people to see before lunch.
• What’s a guidance counselor? (If you asked this question, I URGE you to subscribe to my blog and keep reading, please!)
• Ok, I’m in college. Everybody here is off the chain. If college is all about hooking up, why do some people act like it’s so hard!
• I’m only in high school. Why worry about college? Isn’t college just like on TV? Doesn’t Season 7 of College Hill start soon? I hope so. I was tired of Krystal and Vanessa fighting…
• What should I be doing with my free time when I’m not in classes? I know I can do things that will help me make more money afterwards, but I don’t know who to ask or where to start.
• College isn’t all that. Some people go to college and don’t even end up making that much money. I wonder why that is?
• Ok, I survived college and did what I had to do. Let’s start making that paper! Um, am I supposed to start looking on CareerBuilder.com for jobs or something?
• I survived college. I’m young, single, and… BROKE. I have a couple job offers lined up. What now? What’s the next phase of life?
• What do employers want from the people they hire. I see all these guides talking about how to dress and stuff. I’m not changing who I am. I’m no Uncle Tom; I’m proud of who I am. What about workplace diversity?
• Ok, went to college, got a job, got a good love life. I want to go to the next level. How do I provide for a whole family?

 I think I got a little carried away. Can you tell? Anyway, I would ask that if you have any of these questions, keep reading and start getting some answers. I got inspired to write this blog by reading a number of finance blogs like Kevin’s blog at www.NoDebtPlan.net.

Go ahead, Google my name; you know you wanna. I started to title my Intro blog “Who I Be,” but I’m thinking that would be too ghetto. I’ll settle for the standard “About Me” and introduce myself…

By no means am I rich. I don’t go on Tom Joyner cruises (yet) and I don’t by Coach, Loui Vuitton, or Prada (I’m ashamed to say I used to buy knock-offs at one time, though). I don’t rub elbows with Halle Berry, Will Smith (so fine), Oprah, Denzel Washington (also fine), T.I., Lil Wayne, Young Jeezy, Chris Brown, Beyonce, or Mary J. Blige. Actually, I’m about $35,000 in the red from student loans, credit cards, and my car loan, hence the blog name- I’m trying to get back in the black instead of in the red. I live by myself and pay rent to my mom for the house, I drive a 5-year old Mitsubushi Eclipse Spyder, and I go to a 40-hr/wk J.O.B. (I call jobs “Just Over Broke”)…and I don’t have an I-phone. Why do people always ask if I have an I-phone? Do I look like I should? Anyway, This blog isn’t one of those, “I’m rich and I want to inspire you to do the same.” I am an African-American Generation Y-er who has a keen interest in the seemingly “small” how-to’s in young adult life. I find myself giving (often unsolicited) advice to a number of people about how to prepare yourself or your children (parents, if you’re reading this) for college and life after college. Of course, I am in this age group myself and I am not speaking from a professional point of view. My credibility comes from the fact that I RECENTLY went through the process, that I have a number of contacts that are employers and college advisors, and most of all that I’VE MADE THE MISTAKES.

Here’s a “quick” history about myself: I’ve actually lived in rural areas most of my life. My mother works for a government agency, and my biological father was an anthropologist. After my father died, my mom married my stepdad who was a pastor in a fairly small Central Florida town (I’m tempted to call it a village). Unfortunately, my stepdad died while I was in college, but will always be remembered as my encouragement to do better.

I went to a medium-sized high school where I enrolled in their dual-enrollment program so that I ended up going to high school and college starting in 11^th grade. I graduated as Salutatorian with my high school diploma and my A.A. degree from Lake-Sumter Community College in 2004. After looking at Harvard University, Howard University, and the University of Florida I actually settled on neither of these and accepted my offer to attend Stetson University. A blog about my decision to attend Stetson University should follow soon. Anyway, I started Stetson as a Political Science major and decided that politics and/or economics were hard fields to break into, so I switched to a General Business major-adding a year to my college education. I graduated from Stetson with honors (magna cum laude) in the Spring of 2007, and followed up my college internship at the Department of Transportation by getting a job there.

I was just about to say that I’m a pretty normal person, but I think I’ll just list the things I like to do and let you be the judge. I like to read novels (Harry Potter-type ones), I like to shop, listen to music, travel, and hang out with my friends. However, I only do these things if I have the time and/or money to. Lately, I haven’t been doing much shopping or traveling, feel me? That said, I’m somewhat of a serious individual. I don’t watch a lot of TV (sorry music video and College Hill fans). I don’t listen to the radio much-maybe NPR or talk radio. I don’t go out much-mostly because I’m post-college broke, but also because I’m not a “clubbie.” I’ve never been to BET’s or MTV’s Spring Break/ Spring Bling events. I’m serious… especially when it comes to money. When I first graduated college, I can’t tell you how many work at home scams (and downright stupid legitimate work at home companies that don’t pay hardly anything) I’ve worked for. I’ve spent more money on how-to guides to start a business… and just got incorporated like last week. Everything changed when I stopped reinventing the wheel. The Black community has resources, grants, assistance, and information out there; I just was too arrogant to look. So please, stay tuned… step into my world and look around!